Gabsterz Everything Relationship's

Blog about everything pertaining to relationships and making them better.

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An aspiring writer just trying to write in order to practice the fundamental human element of creation.

  • Triple D S Rule – Don’t Do Dumb Shit

    So, here I am sitting at my desk on a cool rainy Saturday night by myself. I channel my frustration through this blog, allowing it to be creative rather than destructive. It seems to be a better solution than just letting all that energy go to waste. I think that it is a very therapeutic method of release. I still have lots of room for improvement when it comes to anger management. I tend to get angry and break my own Triple D-S rule (Don’t Do Dumb Shit), and find myself in a far worse position. Learning patience, understanding, emotional intelligence, loyalty, and integrity has taken me half a century of learning. I have had my share of ups and downs, and I know the cliche “experience is justified by one’s mistakes” firsthand. The only way to live is by doing it. I wish I could go back to a younger version of myself and have the knowledge, wisdom, and experience that I have today. How many of y’all would wish the same thing?

    As you can probably tell or guess – She is at my cousins again, although I expect her to show up before long – I can’t put an exact timeframe on it, but I kinda have an idea when she is going to come back over here because, well, I have been doing this since May of this year. At least once per month, he trips out on her, and she has to come over here. 10 years ago, I would have already gone over and busted him in the mouth, which may come to that if he lays hands on her again. Perhaps one day she will get enough of the way he treats her. I really, for the life of me, cannot grasp the concept of why anyone stays in an unhealthy and abusive relationship. I understand that it is up to her, and I have definitely gone above and beyond anyone else in her life, and I have been the one person who has been there for her consistently over the last 14 years. For the last 8 months, I have given her a place to come to where she has most of her stuff anyway. I guess the mature thing to do is keep showing her what it looks like when someone really cares about you. She will be a part of my life because she is first and foremost my friend before anything else.

    I really hope to see her today. I haven’t heard from her in a couple of days, but her phone is off (needs her shitty boyfriend, my cousin, to be a man and pay her phone bill). I would pay her phone bill if we were in a relationship. Anyone who has ever been with me has had their phone bill taken care of. I see that as a necessity, but then again, I still open every door I can for women, children, and those who are elderly. Being a gentleman may not be so popular today, but I think it is very important, just a sign of respect.

    Stay tuned for the next adventure…

  • She Is Just Using Me – For What

    What do I do now? I still anticipate that you will come back and stay. That anticipation is slowly waning but as for the love you asked me to find a way not to love you anymore will never go away. It might change into something else like hate. I don’t know why you do the things you do or say the things that you say. You don’t have to lie to kick it. If you don’t mean something don’t do or say it. I don’t understand what it is that you feel that is okay to play with someone’s emotions the way that you do, but that is all that you do. You make statements saying that you are in love with me and actions like kissing me the way that you have twice before but no, you are not leading me on. Then what is it then? I would like to know so that I can find some kind of closure to the love that you say you have for me when in fact you don’t really care about me. You want to just keep the door open to me. I cannot continue allowing you access to me just so you can hurt me more. No one deserves to have their head messed with the way that you have messed with my head. The interesting thing is that you started all of this. I did not do this. I am not looking for someone to blame – I want to know why. What makes someone do these things?

    You have moved out once again and have left your stuff here after I have told you to get it out of my house. A part of me wants to just burn all of it but another part clings to hope that you will come back. Why should I have to go through this type of cruel treatment. Every time you leave and I start to get over you, you come running back to me reigniting all those emotions that I have for you. I know that it is my own fault for allowing you access back to me. I am trying to find a way to stop loving you like you said but like I said before love just don’t go away. It is not a light switch that you can just turn off and on. It may be that way for you, but it is not that way for me because the love I have for you is genuine as opposed to what you have for me. You just use me and it is sad that I just let you. I don’t know what to do anymore but I hope there is a solution to this and very soon.

    I just sent you a text message stating that I don’t have anything for you anymore and not to contact me ever again. That is what you said you wanted in a previous text message so I am just doing what you asked me to do. This is getting so old. You think all of this is a game well find some new game pieces cause none of this is a game to me. The way that all of this makes me feel is that there is no point in even trying for a relationship with anyone anymore – that it is just not worth it. I can find my own peace without you. I don’t want what you are bringing to the table anymore.

    Am I the only one that is going through all of this drama? I can’t even get into an official relationship. I don’t know how I am going to get over you – probably never will. I wish I could go back before you kissed me the way you did that one day. That is the moment that I fell in love with you and as good as it felt I wish it had never happened.

    This story keeps writing itself with the same bad pen on the same damn paper and I am in the same place that I have been for most of this year. I can’t seem to get you out of my head or off of my mind. I come back to this forum to vent off my frustration because I don’t talk to really anyone anymore about my own problems or issues that I am facing. Finding someone that you can trust nowadays is a challenge. I can’t seem to break free from whatever grip you have on me but I know that I will rise up out of the ashes soon and you will know then that your shameful ways have allowed me to finally slip away from you and into something you will want from now on and can’t have. Everything that you ever wanted will pour out of my existence just for you to see – to tantalize you as you remember everything you did to hurt me now returns to you – a dose of your own medicine. Of course there will be no joy in watching you suffer through your own demise as the tables turn in this life.

    You are still on this back and forth shit and it is beyond getting old. I even told you just the other day that if you can’t be my friend then stay the fuck away from me. You just come back into my life and disrupt everything that I have going on just to leave again and go back to the same abusive relationship and you want me to respect your choice and be happy for you because you are in love although you have said it to me more than once that you do not know how to love. You were brought up in abuse and don’t know anything else. You say that you want to find a way to not love my cousin because you are getting hurt and you don’t want to get hurt anymore. The first thing you have to do is quit talking to him and allowing him access to you – it really is that simple or you just like the way that he treats you and you’re just talking out the side of your neck. What is it? I am all ears.

  • Relationship Classes in Public Schools?

    Hey everyone, here comes another rant about my situation. So, of course she has come and gone once again. This time she stayed about 36 hours or so and “went to the store” with the same boyfriend that she just got into a physical altercation with but I have lost count of how many times this same exact situation has occurred since May of this year. It is now 9 a.m. and she hasn’t came back from the “store” yet and she left yesterday at 5:30 p.m. She even said in the message telling me she was going to the store that she knows she is stupid. I don’t understand but I guess it is not for me to understand. Most of her stuff is still in her room in my house. I don’t know what to do in this situation because it defies every single shred of logic. Her emotional intelligence is non existent and it really is beginning to dismantle what was a pretty good friendship.

    Am I the only one that is dealing with a situation like this? In many ways I hope that I am the only one because this shit is off the chain. Are there any females in this world that are loyal, honest, morally incorrupt, have values, consideration, and have some over-all get right? Well, as for where I am located, in the butt crack of East Texas, finding a woman with the aforementioned qualities is seemingly impossible. I have been around the world and I have never encountered so many dope headed social rejects in one area. If that is what you like then come on down – plenty of relationship nightmares to go around. It’s a disgrace that society and the self righteous do gooders have turned a blind eye to a very troubling scenario where the system has failed and allowed most of the women in this area to just be trash. Now, not to let the men think they are getting off the hook – most of them want to treat women as property and think that abusing them is the appropriate way to address their relationship strategies. In my humble opinion traditional values are gone, at least in this area anyway. It is a shame that it has come to this level of immorality.

    If there was ever a need for something added to the public education curriculum, it would be courses on how to bolster healthy relationships. This is an area that could definitely use some guidance and, although I am speaking for myself, I think that this would be a worthwhile endeavor and very much a necessity. I wish that I could have had a lot more knowledge about relationships when I was growing up. What do you think about all of this?

  • More of the Back and Forth

    Well, hey there. I am back for another segment of my own relationship challenges. So, my romantic interest keeps going back and forth between my cousins house and mine. I don’t know how to deal with this but it is a lesson in patience and anger management. I understand that she is 18 years younger than me and that this is really the first time that she has been single (well kind of single) in her life. She has no concept of how to be loved correctly. Her idea of love is overshadowed by continued sexual abuse as a child so she never got to experience love in the way that is outlined in the Holy Bible.

    Her idea of love is being controlled and abused physically and psychologically. She doesn’t know anything else and is extremely reluctant to try something different, well except for the few days that we were actually girlfriend and boyfriend. That was very short lived because she says she is still in love with my cousin who is a real class act shit show in how he treats her. I have to discipline myself daily just not to go left on my cousin because he has been told to keep his hands off of her. I want to just bust him in the mouth really but if she is just going to keep going back and forth it will not help my situation any.

    She still has a room here at my house with all of her stuff here now. She has stayed one night here over the last week and of course has stayed all the other nights over there with him. I can only hope that I can maintain my temper and continue on in patience. I don’t even know if our friendship will make it through all of this self inflicted drama. You are becoming nothing more than a roommate because your efforts regardless of intent are pushing me away.

    Listen to this right here. I brought a girl that I have just met back to the house with me a couple of nights. The first night she wasn’t here to meet her but the second time she was and she got jealous of this girl that I brought with me. How can she even think about getting jealous when she bounces back and forth between my cousin and I. You know another thing of contention is that I haven’t had any sexual relations with anyone since June 9th, I mean didn’t even have sex during the three days that we were a couple so I guess that is I guess the main issue or something. I don’t know what to do – I try to stay calm and continue detaching really – as much as I can anyway.

    Has anyone else experienced anything remotely close to what I am going through? I would like to hear what everyone has to say about all of this just to bring things into perspective. This is a very challenging situation to say the least. It’s horrific to go through this level of bullshit on a consistent basis. It really just gets old.

    I hope to hear some of your thoughts on this soon. Have a great day and be blessed.

  • Something To Think About!

    No response is a response, and it is a powerful one. Remember that.

  • 26 Examples of Healthy Relationship Boundaries for Couples

    Learn examples of healthy relationship boundaries that build trust, respect, and lasting love.

    Source: 26 Examples of Healthy Relationship Boundaries for Couples

  • 125 One-sided Effort Relationship Quotes to Help You | Paired

    To ease your heartache, we’ve put together a number of one-sided effort relationship quotes to help you through this difficult situation.

    Source: 125 One-sided Effort Relationship Quotes to Help You | Paired

  • Never A Dull Moment

    My friend has moved back and forth between my cousin’s and here a few times since my last post. This last time she said she was in love with me and had feelings for me and kissed me – like really kissed me. She then said that we would take it slow. Well, taking it slow would be an overstatement because our situation has went in reverse to the point that we are no longer talking and don’t even know if we are going to be friends anymore.

    It all started with a kiss – that is when I fell in love with her. Now, I just sit here wondering what I should do in this situation. I still have feelings for her but I don’t know if she has the loyalty and integrity to seek having a relationship with. I am pretty adamant about lying to me and how I feel about it. It is not an acceptable form of behavior for me and can be a show stopper when it comes to getting into a relationship with someone. I really can’t stand lying because no matter the intent lying is a choice and furthermore done on purpose.

    I don’t know if I can just let her back into my life when she keeps running back and forth between here and my cousin’s house. I haven’t moved up in the world to have been in a relationship with her so every time she comes over here and I don’t get a chance we have nothing official going on in regard to a relationship. When she is over there it’s right back to her being his girlfriend and frankly I am growing tired and very frustrated about all of this. I almost lost my temper with my cousin just the other day because he decided he would just pop up over here at my place unannounced. She is like telling me to be on my best behavior – if I had known that she would be leaving just a little bit later that evening to go back over there I would have put some hands on him when he made some smart ass remarks to me. Oh well, I guess all of this is just a lesson in controlling my temper or something like that because it is definitely strange how she says she loves me and then her actions speak otherwise.

    Another thing that gets me is how she says she loves me so much and comes over here and steps back into helping out around here and then as soon as she gets the chance she is running away and I am nothing to her anymore. She said that I never had a chance and that she was just using me. That right there hit deep. Then she went on to tell me goodbye and that my cousin gave her everything she needs. I wrote my short goodbye and God bless you message and I blocked her and him on Facebook messenger. I haven’t talked to her since and that has been four days now.

    This time with the things she said I am having difficulty just taking in stride and letting it run off my back like water off a ducks back. I don’t know what I should at this point – I am torn.

    So, she is back over there and I don’t know right now if I ever want her to come back over here or much less see her. I guess we will find out because I am sure that I will be posting this story for you to read.

    Until then – have a blessed day and hope you like this story as it unfolds.

  • Beautiful and Inspirational Relationship Quotes

     

    Relationship quotes can inspire and comfort. Looking for great quotes to express your feelings? Here are some incredible samples.

    Source: Beautiful and Inspirational Relationship Quotes

  • Staying Friends Through It All – Part 2

    Well, here we are again. Fancy meeting you here. This is where I stay stuck in my head, trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense – no nickels, no dimes kind of stuff. There is no logic when it comes to emotions and Love is the strongest. You don’t choose who you love – these feelings develop outside of any rational thought patterns. Of course, you can learn to love someone by them growing on you over time but it is rare.

    Now, my female friend has moved out and back in 4 different times this month. She is now back with the cousin that kicked her out causing her and I to move in to my house to begin with. They are trying to get the Guiness world record for the most break-ups and make-ups. I would like to give them my blessing and be happy for my friend and my cousin but they’re like puzzle pieces from different puzzles. I don’t care how much you love someone or think that you do, if you’re not compatible that will be a daunting task to go through, and despite your best efforts – the relationship typically ends in failure. She did however stand up and fight for our friendship. She told my cousin, her boyfriend, today anyway – we”ll see about tomorrow, that he will just have to get over it because she want’s me in her life and we can still be friends. That really meant a lot to me to hear that she elevated our friendship to required status.

    Well, she has been coming by and visiting and cleans up my mess of a desk while she is here. Granted it is a challenge because I really want her to give me a chance. She gives all these low life, no job having people chance after chance. That is something I really don’t understand because we actually get along with each other extremely well. She actually mentioned today something in the context of If we were in a relationship things would be different, that she is hard to deal with and so forth. That is one of the very few times that she has even thought about the possibility of us being together. I take it as a plus but I know that she keeps my head messed up.

    You know, she is Catholic too, and that is one thing that matters a lot to me anyway. I just wish she would embrace that as much as I do and see that what we have together is the best foundation for a healthy relationship currently available. I find myself at a critical juncture in life right now and I don’t know what I want exactly – a mid-life crisis unfolds.