Gabsterz Everything Relationship's

Blog about everything pertaining to relationships and making them better.

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An aspiring writer just trying to write in order to practice the fundamental human element of creation.

  • Staying Friends Through It All

    Well, here it is, a little more of the back story that really inspired me to start this blog in the first place. I have been friends with this person for over 13 years and when we met I was going through a divorce and wasn’t in the state of mind to date anyone or even think about being in another relationship at that time. So, naturally she ends up getting with someone that I have known since high school since I wasn’t very receptive. We kept in contact throughout the years and she even got married to someone else other than the mutual friend I just mentioned and having a couple of kids and was living in Utah.

    All the while I am here in Texas being the shoulder for her to cry on while she is in Utah. I wish I could remember all the intrinsic details of the countless hours that I would listen to her and what she was going through. Undoubtedly, we became very close over the years. Well, she ends up leaving Utah and coming back here and lo and behold gets back with the same mutual friend and they even have a kid together. They stay together for a little while until some self righteous wannabe goody two shoes decided to contact child protective services and eventually she ends up losing all of her kids because of poor decisions on everyone’s part. I can’t put the blame on one over the other because I was not a key player in any of this and they are both my friends. No one is perfect in this world and she was a good mother to those children and because one or both of the parents used drugs shouldn’t be an excuse to take anyone’s children away. I mean damn everyone uses drugs and alcohol and prescription drugs cause more problems than any other drugs combined.

    So, I end up with two friends who are damaged forever and left to pick up the pieces however they can. I have a strong set of values and I am staunchly against having anything to do with someone who is in a relationship – be it married or seriously dating each other. I just don’t do it. She had tried a couple of times to get with me while she was in some grey areas that I refused and maintained my discipline out of respect to the whole situation. This past year, while he was locked up (nothing drug related). a situation occurred where another friend of ours was beating his girlfriend up led to her needing a place to stay and I had a house that I wasn’t even living in and I told her she couldn’t stay there because I really did not want to get involved with all of the drama that was going on. She ends up getting with a cousin of mine and moving in with him. She was still in a relationship with the friend that was locked up – another key reason I did not want to get involved because it was outside of my morals.

    It wouldn’t be long before the one friend gets out of jail and they start having major and very dangerous interactions. The controlling and micromanaged relationships she always gets into and has I guess grown accustomed to rears it’s ugly head where the cousin ends up laying hands on her behind some over jealous reaction and he ends up going to jail. It wasn’t long after that both the cousin and friend are both in jail. So, now she is free from any relationship and just trying to make it by bouncing between a few people’s houses – mine was added to the list when she was having problems with another cousin of mine. So, we end up moving into my vacant house and started a complicated situation where we are now no longer platonic.

    I have maintained my role as her best friend although she has adamantly told me she does not want to be in a relationship with me – just to stay friends. You can imagine the blow that this had on me. I mean after all of these years and how she wanted me all of those times in the past to now absolute rejection. This has been one of the most difficult chapters in my life and my inspiration to start this blog in the first place. I will continue telling this story with more details and hope that I gain some sort of following because I want to turn something good out of all of this.

    Stay tuned for more of this story to make it’s way to you – I hope you enjoy.

  • Pillars of All-ships

    It is said that there is a woman for every man in this world. I don’t know about the rest of yáll, but I have run into a dating desert. I don’t know if it is my peculiar attributes that I desire in a woman that are making this journey all the more challenging, or if it comes down to the fact that their definitions of loyalty, honesty, and trust do not coincide with mine.

    In my experience I place a great deal of significance on honesty in relationships and everyday life. When someone is being dishonest they are making the conscious decision to intentionally deceive you. Now, if that doesn’t put things into perspective for you what will?

    Loyalty is a requirement for any relationship to be successful. You should never have to second guess whether or not your partner is coming back home or not. They should have your back in all situations and you should know that – hands down.

    Trust is an essential element to letting you relax enough to become comfortable so that the real you comes out. Trust is something that is easy freely given but once lost it will never be the same again.

    If you have these 3 elements, and of course, genuine love, then you are a leg up on having a great, healthy relationship.

  • I Love This Quote.

    I Love This Quote.

    I came across this quote on Woman’s Day site by Joseph Campbell.

    “”Love is a friendship set to music””

  • Relationship – Yay or Nay

    I give credit where credit is due and I have learned in my 50 years on earth that acknowledging and accepting responsibility for your own actions speaks volumes about who you really are. I have been divorced for 10 years and I have been by myself for pretty much that whole entire time. I have had more than enough time to immerse myself fully in self-reflection. The only way that you can really love someone else is to first know how to love yourself.

    These days, I look at all the failing relationships and become a bit disheartened. We have all seen the social media accounts that depict the new couples in a relationship where the last name is being used as if they are already married. They change relationships like they change underwear, leaving behind a trail of social media accounts with the last names they have so easily tacked on to the end of their names. It’s like they are still in high school dating and the last name is the letter jacket or class ring. I have personally witnessed a girl that I know having 10 social media accounts representing 10 different relationships in a years time. That’s more relationships than I have had in my whole life.

    Ever wonder why people stay single after a failed relationship. In my case, I have a couple of reasons that stand out. Getting divorced was one of the hardest things that I have encountered in my life and I don’t know if I will ever get into another serious relationship let alone get married again. It leaves you damaged and fearful to commit to another relationship. I also converted to Catholicism and that in itself makes dating more challenging because dating should always culminate into marriage. I don’t know what the future holds for me and if I will ever meet a Catholic woman to even date or convince someone who is not Catholic to convert. I lean on my faith and cling to hope that God will put that “‘Helper”, in my life. We will just have to see if that comes to fruition.

  • 21+ Apparent Signs Your Relationship Is Beyond Repair

    Recognize the signs your relationship is beyond repair. Understand when it’s time to move on and prioritize your well-being and future happiness.

    Source: 21+ Apparent Signs Your Relationship Is Beyond Repair

  • 11 Signs You Are Leading Someone On Unintentionally

    Uncover the subtle signs of leading someone on unintentionally. Learn how to avoid sending mixed signals and build healthier connections.

    Source: 11 Signs You Are Leading Someone On Unintentionally

  • How to Handle Rejection From a Woman: 10 Ways & Responses

    1. Learn how to handle rejection from a woman with grace. Find healthy ways to respond, keep your self-respect intact, and move forward without losing confidence.

    Source: How to Handle Rejection From a Woman: 10 Ways & Responses

  • 15 Pieces Of Advice Anyone In A Relationship Can’t Ignore | The Savanna Post

    This is great advice that every couple should incorporate into their knowledge banks. I hope you enjoy and find this as informative as I did.

    Gabsterz

    A lot of people want to be in love, be in a relationship, but few actually know what they need.

    Source: 15 Pieces Of Advice Anyone In A Relationship Can’t Ignore | The Savanna Post

  • Honesty Is The Only Policy

    I am sure you have heard the old cliche “Honesty is the best policy,” but I think it is the only policy. Especially in a relationship. You can’t build anything on a weak foundation, and dishonesty will lead to the crumbling of the foundation all relationships are built on. In order to build trust, you have to be honest.

  • Heal Yourself First

    Using your past and the trauma you have faced as an excuse to act poorly in your current relationship makes you a sorry piece of shit. Share a margarita not your bullshit. Heal yourself first before traumatizing someone else.