Gabsterz Everything Relationship's

The “Stupid Tax”: Why We Pay It and How to Stop the Collections.

The Relapse: What to Do When You Break the Triple D-S Rule.

Forgiving Yourself Without Opening the Door Back Up.

We’ve all been there. You swear it’s over. You’ve written the blog post, you’ve told your friends, and you’ve looked at yourself in the mirror and promised, “No more dumb shit.”

And then, a rainy Tuesday hits. Or a specific song plays. Or they send that “I miss you” text that you know is a lie, but it feels like a warm blanket anyway. You respond. You let them back in. You pay the Stupid Tax—that emotional, financial, and mental cost we pay for repeating a mistake we already learned the lesson for.

1. Own the Tax, Don’t Let it Own You

In the military, if you mess up, you take the “counseling” and you move on. You don’t sit in the mud for three weeks crying about how you tripped. If you broke the Triple D-S Rule this week, own it.

The danger isn’t the mistake; it’s the shame spiral. When we feel ashamed, we think, “Well, I already messed up, I might as well stay here in the chaos.” Negative. Reset the clock. The 24-hour rule I mentioned in my Triple D-S post applies to forgiving yourself, too.

2. The Difference Between “Being a Gentleman” and “Being a Doormat”

I’ve spent 14 years being “the consistent one.” I pride myself on opening doors and paying phone bills. But let’s be real: if you are providing “gentleman” treatment to someone who provides you “trash” loyalty, you aren’t being chivalrous. You’re being a facilitator.

We have to stop treating people based on our potential, and start treating them based on their patterns. If their pattern is “Back and Forth,” your response should be “Back Away.”

3. Identify the “Trigger Environment”

I talk a lot about the “butt crack of East Texas” and how it feels like a cycle of dope-headed rejects and toxic patterns. If you’re in an environment where everyone is doing “dumb shit,” it starts to look normal.

• The Pivot: If your house feels empty because you finally cleared out their stuff, don’t fill that space with a new mistake. Fill it with a new habit.
• The Silence: Remember, no response is a response. If you are waiting for them to “get it,” stop waiting. Their inability to value you isn’t a reflection of your worth—it’s a reflection of their vision.

The Challenge for This Week

I want you to look at your “Stupid Tax” receipt. What is it costing you? Your sleep? Your blood pressure? Your bank account?

Stop paying for a life you don’t even want to live. Put the “bad pen” down and start a new page.

What is one “Trigger” you’re removing from your life this week? Let’s talk about it in the comments.